


Change isn't always good

by KamenRiderAccel



Category: B.A.P, VIXX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-11 07:32:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11143785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KamenRiderAccel/pseuds/KamenRiderAccel
Summary: Cha Hakyeon, a very straight forward kind of guy, is the leader of VIXX. this leader keeps his eye on one of the members, Leo or Jung Taekwoon. Taekwoon chose Leo as his stage name soon after Hakyeon chose N. their friendship grew stronger every day since which caused fans to love them and hope they would get together further than friends. This surprised the two but not so much for Hakyeon. Leo‘s and N’s bond grew until the day everything changed. Ravi pushed his way into their lives.One day Hakyeon had returned home after a long business trip. He was furious at the sight before him. The leader dropped his things and ran out of the building. How was he going to cope with this incident?





	1. Leader on the Run

Taekwoon mopped around the dorm for hours waiting for Hakyeon to return. But the elder hasn't arrived yet. The other members were worried except they were more worried about Leo than Hakyeon. They knew Hakyeon could take care of himself but Leo depended on N. Taekwoon was the one who needed somebody to depend on. The older man couldn't trust Ravi as much since he is the one who pushed himself onto Taekwoon to cause this to happen. This should have never happened.

Ravi, on the other hand, felt bad. He didn't know this would happen when he was with Taekwoon. He only wanted to tell the other his feelings but he didn't know Hakyeon would run away from Taekwoon this way. This mess was all his fault if only he didn't see Taekwoon. How was he going to fix this when Hakyeon ran off to a place nobody knows? Taekwoon needs Hakyeon because he is the only one who can calm him down when he freaks out.

"How will we find Hakyeon?" Hongbin asked.

"Nobody knows where he would go. Not even Leo knows," Hyuk answers the other. Leo continued to pace back and forth.

"I wish he didn't leave," Ravi spoke for the first time since the incident. The sound of a cell phone ringing echoed throughout the room. Leo reached into his pocket and grabbed his ringing phone. He looked at the caller ID for only a second and answered the phone.

"Hakyeon, where are you?" Leo asked frantically to the man on the phone.

"I'm sorry, Taekwoon but I'm not going back. So I'm going to create a new life for myself somewhere. I'm calling to say goodbye, farewell my friend," Hakyeon told the other holding back tears. He didn't want to leave Leo but to make him happy with Ravi this is what has to be done.

"You can't leave me alone," Leo pleaded. Tears were now streaming down the younger's face. Hakyeon could hear that Taekwoon was crying.

"I'm sorry, Taekwoon," was all Hakyeon said before the line went dead. Taekwoon dropped the phone to the floor and joined it. The other members watched with no idea how to help. Leo's cries made the group even more worried.

"Hakyeon...Why?" Taekwoon asked himself in between sobs.

"How did this happen?" Ken asked. He turned to Ravi. Ravi looked down at his feet.

"This is all my fault," Ravi replied loud enough for everybody to hear.

"You bet it is!" Taekwoon yelled before he stood up and ran to the room he shared with Hakyeon. This couldn't be happening. Thanks to Ravi, he lost the one person he trusted most. And Hakyeon would never come back to him. Nobody really understood what Hakyeon meant to him. This was going to be hard to get through without the man beside him all the time. If only Ravi didn't pull that stunt, maybe he would be with Hakyeon right now. Who knows how long Hakyeon will be gone for.

Meanwhile in the other part of the building, the rest of the VIXX members were explained the whole story. Ken was looking at Ravi with an angry look. Hongbin and Hyuk were yelling at Ravi for interfering with Leo's and Hakyeon's life. This wasn't going to be easily fixed for the group. They just lost their leader and now the whole band relied on Leo. What were they going to do without Hakyeon now?

"Ravi, Hakyeon is not coming back cause all of this. Taekwoon is most likely mad at you for this. How are we going to help Leo if he has a panic attack now. You know Hakyeon was the only one who could help him. In the long run, you hurt Leo more than anyone in this band has," Ken told the rapper.

"I messed up. Alright I know that," Ravi replied while looking at the floor.

"You cost us our leader," Hongbin told him with a raised tone. This was the only way the younger wanted to express how he truly felt about this mess Ravi got them all into since he couldn't keep his feelings to himself. He just had to jump Leo as Hakyeon walked in.

"What will we do, Ken?" Hyuk asked the elder. By this time Hyuk was getting upset due to the confusion that was caused with having no leader of the band now. They all knew that Leo was next in line to be the leader but the elder wasn't capable to withstand the pressure of the job.

"We will have to help Leo the best we can and back him up until we can find Hakyeon. Until then, we will have to do our best to keep Leo from anything that causes him to have a panic attack since there is nothing we can do if he deals with one. There is no way of keeping them away forever since they happen at random times and can be easily set off with Leo," Ken explained. Maybe the band would have luck to bring Hakyeon back.

"Let's help Leo," Hongbin told them without looking in Ravi's direction.

"I'm sorry I caused all of this mess," Ravi apologized for the thousandth time in an hour. "If only I didn't go to see Taekwoon that day."

"Don't worry, Ravi. We will figure this out together," Ken told the younger man sitting next to him. Ken took one of Ravi's hands and squeezed gently to reassure the other. Ravi looked at the hand holding his and then to its owner. The younger gave Ken a small smile to show he understood. Hongbin and Sanghyuk sat on the other sofa watching the other two with smiles on their faces. Hongbin was holding Hyuk like his life depended on his hold on the other. The band easily could tell the two liked each other before all this happened. Hakyeon was the one who almost told the world about them liking each other. After their last performance, Hongbin had asked Sanghyuk to date him and the other's reply came fast out of his mouth.

"I created this mess. It's all my fault, Ken. How am I supposed to be calm and not worry," Ravi exploded into tears as he told the elder. This really was his fault and Jaehwan knew this. There was no denying this fact.

"We will figure it all out, Ravi," Hongbin had calmed down some, thanks to Hyuk, before he calmly told the other. "Everything will be alright.

"I doubt it," was all Ravi said before he burst into loud sobs that could be heard throughout the room.

"We promise," Hyuk told the older member.

"We should get some rest we can talk to Taekwoon about this in the morning," Ken told them as he stood up picking Ravi up to make him stand so they could go to their shared room. Once the two had left Hongbin and Hyuk followed suit to get a good night's rest.

Inside the locked door of Hakyeon's and Leo's room, Leo laid on Hakyeon's bed instead of his own. This was normal for him to not use his own bed since Hakyeon would make him sleep with the other just in case Taekwoon would have a really bad nightmare. Leo would get all kinds of nightmares and Hakyeon would tell him he would always be there to comfort him but now there was no Hakyeon to keep them away. The scent of the other wasn't enough but he knew he would have to fight them alone now. Just laying on Hakyeon's bed made him sad. This wasn't going to be a good night at all. But if he had to stay awake to keep them away then that was how it had to be. There was no hope in fighting them without Hakyeon.

Leo just laid on his back looking at the boring ceiling of their room. The man was buried in the sheets and blankets that were on Hakyeon's bed. The bed made him feel like Hakyeon was there but he really wasn't. Tears were rolling down his face making their way towards the mattress but Taekwoon was making no effort to stop them from making their way to the spot where they would fall to the sheets below. This was one thing Leo hated was not being able to sleep without Hakyeon beside him. Every single time he thought of Hakyeon he would cry harder. Tears would stream harder down the sides of his face. His vision would be blurry. He needed Hakyeon and Hakyeon walked out on him. The one person he needed most left him alone.

As Taekwoon thought the night was a long one. He tossed and turned with tears all night. He knew by morning his eyes would be red and puffy. He must have really cared about Hakyeon if he cried this much when it came to him. The scent of the sheets on Hakyeon's bed kept making Leo cry and he knew it would but he wanted to make it seem that N was really there to make the pain easier for him. "Why Hakyeon?... Why would you leave me like this and make me suffer?" Taekwoon whispered to himself between whimpers. He almost didn't recognize his own voice but he knew this was going to happen. There was slight pain in his chest but he ignored it. He had to for the sake of his sanity. That's when he looked towards the window.

The curtains were spread open so he could look out the window at the night sky. The darkness of the night sky was kind of scaring Leo since he knew that Hakyeon was out there somewhere by himself trying to leave him in the past or something. This made Leo tear up for the thousandth time. He really hoped Hakyeon was alright being out there alone. What is this is all a dream and he would be lying in the bed next to Hakyeon. This mad Taekwoon pinch himself and it hurt. Well that answers that question. This was definitely not a dream. Ravi really did ruin his life with Hakyeon. He had to find Hakyeon before something happened to the other.

Soon enough, the sky began to show the blue color once again. This was signaling that Leo was up all night crying yet again. This was the second night all he could think about was Hakyeon. This was only going to tear Taekwoon apart inside and out. There was no stopping this pain from tearing him apart. Hakyeon had left him to suffer so there was no hope for him yet he had a band to keep together. This was the role Leo had been given as soon as Hakyeon ran out that door. Leo scanned the room like he always did when he was alone. He always had pictures hidden around the room of Hakyeon but the older man never noticed. It helped Leo if he had a panic attack and Hakyeon wasn't there. All he needed was to see a picture of Hakyeon all the time to hopefully make him feel a little better.

All of a sudden there was a light knock on the door. Leo tried to ignore it. He didn't want anybody to see him in this state. He didn't want to look weak in front of the members. He had to mask t he was crying but it's hard to hide red, puffy eyes from the world. Another soft knock was heard at the locked door. Leo knew he had to let the person in so he might as well forget about it and get the door. The young man stood up and walked to the door. When he opened his door, the sight before him startled the elder. Ravi stood in front of the doorway.

Leo motioned for Ravi to come into the room. The small room was dark so then the younger couldn't see that Leo had been crying all night over Hakyeon. This was a rare thing for Leo and he didn't want the rest of the members to know he was this weak when it came to Hakyeon. Taekwoon walked over to the bed and sat at the foot of Hakyeon's bed. Ravi didn't say anything because he knew the other felt something for the elder of the two. He may have screwed up but he did know their feelings towards each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think and help me improve on my stories for Kpop. Hope you like it:)


	2. The Search Begins

"What do you want?" Taekwoon asked breaking the silence between the two. Ravi just looked down.

"I wanted to apologize if I could," Ravi whispered more to himself but Leo could hear him. Leo just looked at the black haired male with determined eyes. There was no point for ravi to apologize. Taekwoon's life was already a mess due to the younger.

"Well you can save it. This is all a mess because of you. Hakyeon could be out there somewhere suffering just like i am," Leo spat at the other. Ravi could understand where this is coming from. Hakyeon ran away because of him and Taekwoon may never get to see him again. There had to be a way to make it up to his hyung.

"It will be fine we will find Hakyeon and i will apologize if possible. I will do everything to fix what i have done," Ravi told him. A stray tear rolled down Taekwoon's cheek. Ravi raised his hand, placed it on the elder's cheek and wiped away the single tear. Leo leaned into the touch trying to rid his mind of Hakyeon for just a few moments.

"Why would him leaving make it hurt so much?" Leo asked. This surprised the younger for a minute. Was Taekwoon really asking something personal? This was a first for this.

"Well you have feelings for him obviously and without him in your life it's going to hurt for a while. This is normal amongst humans," Ravi explained. This caused the other too look at him. How did Ravi know more about this kind of thing then the older man? Usually is was the elders giving advice not the other way around. "That tends to happen when you get used to somebody being there and then you learn what you feel for them when they aren't there anymore."

"How do I fight this though? It's worse than panic attacks," Leo questioned. Ravi was smarter than what everybody else thought.

"There is no way to fight it but to work hard and move on," Ravi answered. Taekwoon's eyes dropped to the floor. Ravi's hand was still on his cheek. The warmth of the younger's hand felt familiar but it really wasn't. Hakyeon would always wipe tears that fell out of Leo's eyes. He always felt happy inside when Hakyeon was there. This is how he could handle every panic attack even in front of the whole world. Now that hope was gone, missing, and may never return to make the world right again. This was going to be a tough fight. "I may be the one to hurt you more than anything, but i am here to help you. I will not leave a friend behind." Taekwoon raised his head and looked at Ravi once again. This was not something he wanted to hear early in the morning.

"I want to try and get some sleep so if you don't mind," Taekwoon lied. Ravi wasn't going to argue that he wasn't going to get sleep but gave the older man a quick nod and stood up from where he was. Once Ravi had reached the door but turned around. Taekwoon was watching him like his life depended on him.

"If you ever need me, just let me know I will help with anything you need," Ravi told him before opening the shut door and walking out. Leo watched as the younger walked out and left him in the room by himself once again. The elder may have been too harsh on Ravi about this whole mess. Part of this is Taekwoon's fault. He did let Ravi get away with it before Hakyeon had come home. Taekwoon can very well remember the event that had taken place but it hurt him every single time he would picture Hakyeon's facial expression. There was evident Hurt in his eyes at he seen Leo and Ravi on Leo's bed. The moment that Hakyeon showed up, he left faster than when he entered the dorm. The look Hakyeon gave tore Taekwoon from the inside out. He never wanted to see Hakyeon hurt this way. This never made sense though. Why would Hakyeon be the center of Taekwoon's world? Did he really fall for the elder man? Was this what Wonshik was talking about? Ever since Taekwoon had met the elder, there has been heat resonating through his chest when he was close to the other. He thought it was a bad sign so he kept pushing him away. He never knew that Hakyeon would feel the same way.

Leo just sat on the bed and thoughts flew through his mind. Every moment he had with Hakyeon, all the happy moments between the two and all the sad ones too. As they flew through his mind, Taekwoon didn't know he was crying yet again for the millionth time in one night. The beautiful smile he would see every day drawing him closer to a panic attack but he didn't care. All this time he had been pushing away the love of his life, which he didn't know till this very moment. Leo was the start of all this. If he would have just let Hakyeon be with him all the time then maybe this wouldn't have happened. This was one thing that was important but it was now gone. Everything that helped Leo get through life was gone in one day. And then the worst thing happened to Leo that had never been this bad before.

Taekwoon began to freak out. It felt like his lungs were shutting on him. The air was slowly disappearing. There was no help for him now. Hakyeon wasn't there to help him through it like all the other times.. He was there to fight it alone. His heart rate was sky rocketing from the normal rate. There was nothing Leo could do. Something could happen to Hakyeon out there in the world. There were always killings or suicides happening every day. What was Leo going to do if Hakyeon was either murdered, hit by a car, or he would kill himself? How would Leo live without the elder? The man's breaths become more needy and ragged. There has got to be a way for him to suffer this alone, right? His ragged breaths getting more and more ragged before. How was he going to stop this alone? Leo can feel all the air he can get leave and return quickly as less air is obtained. The young man feared that the worst would happen to Hakyeon. He could starve to death or be put in the hospital for something bad. There was endless possibilities that could happen to the elder. Leo didn't want any of them to be what killed Hakyeon. Taekwoon wanted Hakyeon to live a full life, with him preferably, and have fun in his life.

After about Twenty minutes, Taekwoon's heart beats began to slow down ever so slightly. It was a small improvement but whatever Leo was trying way definitely working. What the young man had was a picture of Hakyeon and was holding it like the other was there. Hakyeon was the secret of beating the panic attacks since he meant the world to the younger. When Hakyeon left Leo that day, Taekwoon had felt his world crash to pieces. It was like there was nothing there inside of the other man. Nothing was what Leo was now without Hakyeon. The heavy breathing was getting worse for the younger man. The needier they got the more it hurt Taekwoon. Panic attacks weren't fun but it was an obstacle that Leo had to face daily. These attacks would happen anytime but none of them were this bad. Soon enough, Leo felt his staggered breaths slow and the heart rate slowly returned to normal. Now he knew the secret to stopping these once they start. The answer was Hakyeon.

Once he finally calmed down from the fear of losing Hakyeon forever, tears Streamed down his face yet again. That was something Taekwoon hated. Why would he cry over a man that wasn't supposed to show up but about a year or so ago their story begun but never became official. That was how it all worked. They may have shared a room, stayed in the same bed, or of all things hugged or showed contact in some way. Leo would push Hakyeon away at times but it never really happened. Hakyeon would always show back up. They couldn't be separated long enough for the rest of the band. The band then began to ship the two and hoped they would just fall in love, little did they know that Leo had already fallen. After Taekwoon figured out that hakyeon would always be there, it didn't last long. Taekwoon just never knew that Hakyeon felt the same way. This made the young man cry harder. He didn't want to lose the man he had fallen for. This hurt too much. He just had to find Hakyeon before it was too late. He had to tell him that he needed him.

Taekwoon didn't realize that he had shut his eyes until he had opened them and seen the bright light of the sun and he was being shaken by one of the maknaes. Hyuk looked down at the elder as he looked up. He looked at Leo with pity in his eyes. His hyung looked horrible after the long night Leo had.

"Wake up, Leo," Hyuk called out to get the elder out of bed.

"Why?" Leo asked the Maknae of VIXX.

"We are all going out to hunt for Hakyeon," Hyuk answered hurriedly.

"He doesn't want to be found. So it would be hard," the elder told him. This made Hyuk look at him angrily.

"You know we have to find him," Hyuk proclaimed.

"Well give me a minute to get around," Taekwoon replied. This gave Hyuk a chance to smile at Leo, but of course, he didn't smile back. The younger walked towards the door and walked out. Leo was left in the room to change and join the others to look for the man he secretly loved.

Half an hour later, Taekwoon had walked to the living room to where everybody else was located, waiting for him. Ken and Hongbin looked at Leo and could tell he was up most of the night. Ravi was avoiding everything around him like they had scolded him again. Hyuk was smiling like an idiot since he was the one to wake the sleeping bear. Jaehwan was sad since Leo looked horrible from crying all night. Hongbin felt the same. The group cared about Leo and right now he needed them but he kept pushing them away because he didn't want them to see him suffer alone. Taekwoon sure didn't want to tell them he had a panic attack during the night.

"I see everybody is here," Ken spoke to break the silence between the members. Each of the members looked in Ken's direction. "Where should we start our search?"

"Let's start in the shopping district," Hongbin called out.

"That would be a good place to start," Hyuk added to his boyfriend's comment. "There are a lot of people there."

"Well, let's go. We are wasting daylight," Ravi exclaimed. With this, the remaining members of VIXX rushed out of the building to hunt down their friend and leader. Taekwoon knew the group was going on a wild goose chase. They may never find Hakyeon.

Once the small group made it to the shopping district, they split off into smaller groups to cover more ground. Leo and Hyuk would cover the busiest part since taekwoon could spot the other quickly. Ravi and ken took the south side and Hongbin covered the north side. The two sides had les people then what Leo and Hyuk were doing. Once the groups were decided, they split off to find Hakyeon. This was like looking for a needle in a haystack but with people instead. Leo looked at all the people's faces. There were a lot of people in the market area. Every single person minding their own business. Taekwoon just could not find the one person they were trying to find. Where could Hakyeon have gone? Surely he couldn't have gone far. This proved to be harder than he thought. He knew he just had to find the other.

"Any luck yet, Taekwoon?" Hyuk asked his hyung. Leo just looked at the boy.

"You know we are looking for a needle in a haystack, right?" Taekwoon questioned the younger. This made the other nod in a "yes" manner. Silence followed them as they continued to look for the missing leader. Hours passed as Hakyeon was not being found. Since they haven't heard from the others after about four hours, then they must haven't found him either. Days passed and still no luck on finding Hakyeon. Soon enough it had been a year since the leader had disappeared. Hongbin and Hyuk gave up a few months ago. About a month later, Ken gave up and Ravi followed.

Within a year a lot has happened in the band. Ravi and Leo were together. Ravi took Leo out to a restaurant and they ate delicious food while an hour later Ravi asked Leo to go out with him. Leo said yes and so their love story began. Ravi knew Leo loved Hakyeon more and would leave him once the other was found but for Ravi, that was alright with him. As long as he got to make Leo happy till then. Leo had grown more quiet and hid himself from the others more. Panic attacks would happen more often and each time it happened, it would scare the other four members. At live concerts, they would leave a space next to Leo for Hakyeon. The fans wondered where Hakyeon was but none of the members would answer them. This went of for a year and they stopped asking. Life was going as good as it could have been for Taekwoon. Years passed and Ravi was getting on his nerves. He had only said yes to try and live life a happy person but he guessed wrong with Ravi.

Taekwoon stood outside the local bar that he had been going to for about a month now. Ever since he began to get upset when somebody would bring up the one person who can't be found. Hakyeon must not want to be found if he is hiding this much. Did Ravi upset him that much? Once he broke from his thoughts, he entered the small bar. Once he entered, the young man walked to the bar and sat on one of the stools. Leo then called the bartender and ordered a drink, a beer like always. The music was loud and there were a lot of drunks on the dance floor part of the bar. The dance floor itself was crowded as always but that didn't bother Leo one bit. He didn't like going near the dance area due to all the girls being overly flirtatious when they were drunk. Some of the men were too but Taekwoon didn't really care. The man he loved left long ago and that wasn't going to change anything now.

Soon enough after about seven beers, Taekwoon was a little woozy but he decided he was ready to head back to the dorm. The young man stumbled out of the bar. He must have been worse than he thought because he was hallucinating Hakyeon being in the bar. His hallucination was on the dance floor enjoying him. Taekwoon felt his heart tug in his chest. Hallucinations were always the worst. Instead of staring at the hallucination, Taekwoon stumbled to the exit and walked out of the bar.

The night air was starting to cool off from the warm days of the past week. Fall was approaching and summer was leaving till next year. Leo wondered how Hakyeon was doing. He really missed the other and there was no hope in finding him now. If only he could see that cheerful smile again. It has been three years since he had left after all. Taekwoon missed a lot of things about Cha Hakyeon. The smile, the happiness of the other, the clinginess of him and the helpful side as well. He was tired of all these panic attacks that he would get in a day. With that, Taekwoon slowly stumbled back to the dorm to where Ravi was waiting to help him to bed.

 


	3. Hakyeon meets B.A.P

****

As soon as Hakyeon ran out the door, he regretted it. He really didn't want to leave Taekwoon behind. The elder had strong feelings for Leo. he really got upset when he seen the love of his life with the maknae. The business trip was great, even when he missed the younger man, until this moment. Hakyeon just couldn't believe this was happening to him of all people. N couldn't wait to wake up from this dream. He only felt like a broken window. Hakyeon's heart shattered into millions of pieces. The leader thought his broken heart would never mend but this was only a thought.

Soon enough, Hakyeon had reached the outside. Once he was out of the building, he stopped in the walkway of the outside world. The elder brought his hands up to his face, hiding the sadness from others. His hands touched cold, salty tears that he didn't know was falling from his face. He hoped that Ravi would make Leo happy if he couldn't do it himself. Hakyeon cared about the younger's happiness more than his. Leo meant the world to the elder, if only he felt the same way about the elder. Hakyeon looked back at the door of the building for the last time. His happiness was now gone for good as soon as he was away from the man he loved. This might have been the last time he would see him. The elder turned around and started to walk away.

Every person that walked by, looked at the crying man. The tears would no longer stop so he let them fall. He made no effort to stop. Hakyeon just kept on walking away from his band, his home, his life, and Jung Taekwoon. He was giving everything up just to make the other happy. Even if this meant that he could never see the younger again. Hakyeon couldn't think of that knowing it would keep the tears falling. Was his life really a mess? This question kept going through his thoughts. How was this going to turn out alright when everything that Hakyeon lived for was now gone? Life had its ways to mess with the leader of VIXX. Hakyeon just couldn't believe the struggle to keep himself alive would bring him. There had to be hope for him. This gave him an idea to bring happiness to the other. Hakyeon pulled the phone from his pocket and looked down at it. He needed to call Taekwoon and tell him that he was going to find him a better life and that he would take care of VIXX for him. He would be watching them from afar. Once he unlocked the screen of his phone, he clicked on the contacts icon. Hakyeon then scrolled until he found Taekwoon's contact and hit the call button. It didn't take long for the other to answer.

"Hakyeon, where are you?" the man on the other side asked frantically. This hurt Hakyeon mentally. Why was the other frantic about his disappearance when he had Ravi? Hakyeon could feel the tears welling up in his eyes due to the other's tone and words.

"I'm sorry, Taekwoon but I'm not going back. So I'm going to create a new life for myself somewhere. I'm calling to say goodbye, farewell my friend," Hakyeon choked out. This was tearing him apart but this had to be done. The idea of leaving Leo wasn't something he wanted to do but it had to be done to keep his sanity.

"You can't leave me alone," N heard the other plead and the sounds on the other line showed that the other was crying. Why would he be crying if he loved the maknae? Was there something more to this situation then he knew. Hakyeon couldn't think of something like that after all those times that Leo had pushed him away like he did. This didn't make any sense.

"I'm sorry, Taekwoon," Hakyeon told the other. He tried his best to not cry over the phone. The elder was now standing in an alleyway while on the phone with Leo. Once he was done with the sentence he thought it was best to just hang up right there. And so the leader pressed the end call button and his back hit the wall of one of the buildings. The tears had returned and since he was out of sight, Hakyeon slid down the wall until he was on the ground crying very hard. He wished this never would have hurt him this much.

Hakyeon didn't want to move. This was too much for the skinny man. Was this really happening? Did he really just give up on Taekwoon? Hakyeon mentally slapped himself. He was so dumb at times. The younger needed him and Hakyeon just ran out. This wasn't going to be a happy life for him like he wished. After all he gave up most of his friends. Ravi was sure full of surprises. This made N cry harder. With the older member in an alley, people around could still see him from the streets of Seoul. Somehow he had to fight the urge to go back, be found by his band and end up never seeing Taekwoonie again. This was going to be tough.

Once Hakyeon had stopped crying long enough, He pushed himself off of the wall but stopped as a familiar figure passed by. There was no way they were already looking for him but then he realized that when he had returned, only Leo Ravi and he were in the dorms. Ravi must have called them all together for them to know about him. Hakyeon had to get out of here if he didn't want to be found by them. And so the elder walked towards the street. The traffic was like a wild mess like usual. People lined the streets trying to go from one place to the other without causing trouble for others. Seoul was always a busy place to be. Hakyeon looked both ways to figure out which way to go. The elder chose the direction that would lead him away from his home.

As Hakyeon walked through the streets of Seoul, thoughts of Taekwoon flooded his mind. What did the other feel towards Hakyeon if he was crying over the phone earlier? Was he feeling the same towards him as Hakyeon did towards Leo? These two questions kept floating around with endless possible answered. This really had Hakyeon's mind going in circles. Something wasn't adding up. All of a sudden, Hakyeon's stomach growled in hungry protest. What was he supposed to eat on this runaway voyage? That was when he ran into a tall skinny teen that he has seen before. He never did know his name but he has seen him at competitions between the bands of South Korea.

"I'm so sorry," Hakyeon apologized quickly but was very surprised when the taller man just looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Aren't you the leader of the band, VIXX?" the teen asked.

"Yes I am," Hakyeon replied softly.

"Why aren't you with them? Doesn't the leader keep the others in order?" the tall stranger asked.

"It's all long story," was all Hakyeon said. The stranger just looked at Hakyeon. The elder couldn't even think that the young man would want to hear his terrible story.

"Let me guess, a fight?" the stranger asked.

"Yeah and I don't want to go back but then I have nowhere to go," Hakyeon told the tall man. This was dumb telling the whole story to a stranger.

"Let me call Hyung and maybe we can give you a place to stay, alright?" the tall blonde said. With this he grabbed his phone out of his pocket. The teen unlocked the screen, hit contacts and picked the phone number of the person he was going to call. Once the other side picked, the stranger called out to his hyung. "Yongguk hyung."

Hakyeon didn't understand how he got to be inside the building that B.A.P lived in but then the teen was the maknae of the famous boy band. This was extraordinary. Junhong had gone to fetch Yongguk and the other members. Hakyeon was sitting on the couches in their dorm waiting to find a place to stay. Maybe Yongguk and the others could help him. Soon enough, the six members walked into the room. Himchan was holding Jongup's hand which made Hakyeon nervous.

"Hakyeon, right?" Daehyun asked. As he walked over to the other, Hakyeon looked in his direction and then nodded. Daehyun gave Hakyeon a weak smile before he walked behind Youngjae and put his arms around the younger. This action made the older man smile a little bit.

"What kind of fight did you get into with your band, Cha Hakyeon?" Yongguk asked the brunette singer.

"I...Have a crush on one of the members and he knows that I do but he...was with one of... the maknaes when...I came home... from the trip I had to... go on," Hakyeon explained as tears rolled down his face like waterfalls. The members of B.A.P watched the other bandleader in silence. Each of the members was speechless. They didn't know what to do to help Hakyeon. But Himchan wanted to know who it was that Hakyeon had a crush on.

"Is the one you have a crush on that one guy who is shy? I don't remember his name," Himchan asked the crying man.

"Himchannie, his name is Taekwoon," Jongup told his boyfriend. Hakyeon just cried harder.

"Guys, stop. You are hurting him even more," Junhong told his hyungs. Yongguk gave himchan the death glare and so the two apologized. This seemed to help the oldest in the room. Youngjae and Daehyun watched the older still to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. This went from a good day to a terrible one due to them needing to help the elder get over this Taekwoon.

"Hakyeon," the crying man lifted his head to look at the speaker. Yongguk looked down at him. The younger of the two gave Hakyeon his famous gummy smile. "You can stay with us as long as you would like." this made Hakyeon happy a little bit. This was the one happy thing that had happened for him in a little while.

For three years, Hakyeon lived with B.A.P and was still with them. Yongguk and the others enjoyed Hakyeon's jokes and funny stories. Hakyeon had dulled the pain of Taekwoon and was now having fun again. Daehyun had a great sense of humor like his. Hakyeon began to think Himchan was weird but that was alright since everybody was different. N watched as Yongguk and Zelo got together and were happy with each other. Hakyeon went everywhere with the members and even dealt with the lawsuit as well. During this time, the elder stayed with Junhong and his family, Yongguk stayed behind to fight their agency for more rights. Daehyun and Junhong passed out from exhaustion and when they woke up, Daehyun could at least walk where Junhong had to be carried away. About a year ago, they made their comeback with Young, wild and free. Hakyeon had watched from behind the stage to not risk being found by VIXX or their fans. The band was doing great without Hakyeon and he knew Taekwoon was doing a fine job leading them. Taekwoon was always being watched by Hakyeon from far away. Hakyeon knew he acted like a stalker but this was the only way he could see Taekwoon. The other man was happy with Ravi now.

Another B.A.P performance went well and so the group decided they were going to go to a bar and celebrate. This bar was small compared to the last one they had gone to. The bar had a nice dance floor and the music was nice. The small group had grabbed a table that was close to the dance floor. Hakyeon had ordered a beer like himchan and Daehyun. Yongguk ordered a scotch while everybody else had shots of rum or vodka. N thought he was the odd ball of the group but it didn't bother him very much. He wished he could be with Taekwoon but the younger wasn't his but Wonshik's. There was nothing that Hakyeon could do. So he forced his mind blank and kept having beers with his friends.

By the end of the night, all seven men were drunk and Hakyeon was on the dance floor with Youngjae. The two were having some fun with the drunks down there. All of a sudden, a person was siting at the bar counter had caught Hakyeon's eye. The person that was at the counter could easily be recognized. Hakyeon stopped moving as he looked at the other man. Taekwoon was sitting at the counter in the same bar as he was in with a drink in front of him. This scared Hakyeon. Soon enough, Youngjae had seen his older friend's mood change and looked in the same direction as Hakyeon was looking. Youngjae had noticed that Hakyeon was looking at Leo without blinking and he was scared at being found. Maybe Taekwoon wouldn't notice him since he had dyed his hair a different color to make it harder for them to find him. This was what he hoped when he seen the other gets up from his stool struggled to walk the other direction towards the door. Taekwoon stopped moving and slowly turned around like he was looking for something. That's when Hakyeon hurriedly turned around. He didn't want to be seen but he knew he was already caught. He turned his head enough to where his eyes met the younger's this was a surprise to find Taekwoon in a bar. Hakyeon seen the look in the other's eyes. Taekwoon was hurting and it was all Hakyeon's fault. The younger man had turned around once more to stumble out the entrance and had left the bar.

Hakyeon was left speechless. What was the reason behind that look? The elder felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to the hand and followed it to it's owner. Yongguk found him somehow in the large crowd on the dance floor. Hakyeon's eyes fell to the floor.

"Should we leave?" Bang asked the older man.

 


	4. In Need of Help

The small group had stayed till closing time. They drank more beer until they couldn't keep still anymore so they decided it was time to head home. They all took taxis back since none of them were in the best of shape to drive. The first ones to leave were Himchan and Jongup since they couldn't stop trying to rid each other of their clothing in the bar and they sure didn't stop when they got into the yellow taxi. Everybody knew what was going to happen when they all got back to the dorm. The next group to get a taxi was Junhong, Yongguk and Hakyeon. Nothing weird happened in the taxi except the maknae slipping in and out of consciousness due to being severely drunk. Zelo tried to act like a stripper since he was so drunk.

Once the three had arrived to their dorms, loud moans could be heard from the large bedroom. Even though Hakyeon is used to this happening between Himchan and Jongup, it still makes him embarrassed. Yongguk, who was carrying an unconscious Junhong, set the maknae down on the couch. About fifteen minutes later, Daehyun and Youngjae joined them. It wasn't awkward till then because the two were sitting in a chair making out and feeling each other's skin. Daehyun had Youngjae on his lap. Hakyeon's face was quickly turning red like a tomato. He had never seen any of them get this drunk before. N could tell it was going to be a long night. All of a sudden, there was somebody pulling him by the back of hist shirt. This began t freak Hakyeon out. The one pulling his shirt was none other then Yongguk. This gave Hakyeon the idea he was in for an educational night. Every single person was so drunk that nobody could think straight. This night was going to be full of regrets if any of them remember what happens since they all were drunk.

The next thing Hakyeon knows is that his shirt is missing and Yongguk is all over him. Yongguk was kissing his bare chest and Hakyeon just stared at the ceiling of the room that they were in. the weirdest thing for Hakyeon was that he was with a person who had a boyfriend that he really didn't like more than a friend but maybe it was the Alcohol that was causing all these weird situations. There were no sane people in the dorm at the moment. Yongguk slowly made his way towards Hakyeon's belt to unfasten it. The belt was unfastened quickly and so was the button and zipper of Hakyeon's jeans. Hakyeon knew Yongguk should be with Junhong but the younger was passed out on the couch in the other room. Soon after Hakyeon's jeans were removed, Yongguk's have gone missing as they were added to the small pile forming on the floor. This really had Hakyeon questioning everything but as said before, the two were too drunk to care. The two men were on Hakyeon's bed which was like a guest room in the dorm.

Things began to get more heated in Hakyeon's room. Yongguk was now only wearing nothing as Hakyeon was still in just his underwear. The younger man had his head hovering over Hakyeon's face. When the leader of BAP leaned down their lips met in a sloppy kiss. Both men's eyes fell closed as in to feel the emotions that flowed through their movements. Yongguk poked at Hakyeon's lips to make the elder open his mouth to let the younger explore the wet cavern with his tongue. This was a new sensation to Hakyeon. He had never kissed anybody but that was all going to change. Soon enough, Yongguk had broken the kiss to move his way closer to the last piece of clothing Hakyeon had. Yongguk was tugging at Hakyeon's underwear as to get permission to remove them and add them to the pile. Hakyeon lifted his hips off the bed to allow the other to take them off easier. With both of them fully exposed, everything got interesting. The younger moved his hand to wrap it around Hakyeon's growing member and began to move his hand up and down the semi hard shaft. This action caused the elder to let out a low moan deep within his throat. Hakyeon didn't even register that he had done that until the younger had stopped to grab some lube from the bed side table, which he didn't know was there.

"Hakyeon, spread your legs wider for me," Yongguk whispered seductively to the elder. Hakyeon did as he was told. Yongguk positioned his index finger over the elder's entrance. this caused the other to squirm as his patience level dropped. The BAP leader pushed his finger inside the other but stopped to get the other to relax from the intrusion. It took Hakyeon a bit to relax. "You're so tight," was heard from the younger's mouth.

"Sorry," Hakyeon whispered in apology. The feeling of Yongguk's finger began to not hurt so much but as soon as he relaxed Yongguk moved his finger some. The feeling was pure bliss. Hakyeon couldn't believe that this felt so good. When Yongguk deemed Hakyeon ready for another, he added a second finger. There was very little pain but it was evident on Hakyeon's face that there was some. It didn't take long to work on Hakyeon before there was a third and a fourth finger added to the first two. There was pure pleasure with Yongguk stretching the tight muscles so then he could get the ball rolling.

Once Hakyeon was ready to go, Yongguk grabbed the lube and poured a large amount onto his hand and began to slick down his swollen member. Hakyeon looked at Yongguk in anticipation. Once the younger was ready, he positioned himself to press the tip of his shaft to Hakyeon's entrance. This caused the elder to let out a small moan which made the younger smile before he pushed himself inside N. Hakyeon had let out a loud moan when he felt the other inside. There was pain but then there was also pleasure. This surprised Hakyeon. How did Yongguk know how to do this to a man? But then he remembered Junhong. What would the younger think when he found the two leaders together after a long night of drinking alcohol.

After a few minutes, Yongguk began to move inside Hakyeon. The movements of the other had shot pleasure through the older male. With every thrust, Yongguk was hitting the other's prostate and he knew it when Hakyeon's head fell back on the pillows of his bed and his back arched up. The feeling was pure bliss for the elder. Yongguk knew he was enjoying it but in their drunken state it was only ten times better but it didn't register with who they were with. The two could still hear Himchan and Jongup through the wall since they were close to the large bedroom. Hakyeon couldn't think straight and pressure began to build in his gut. This made everything that was happening better. Hakyeon didn't know why but it just did. The whole world had seemed to stop around the two as they continued to enjoy their drunken selves. This only made Yongguk thrust harder. Hakyeon was close to the edge and he knew Yongguk was as well.

"Yongguk..." Hakyeon called out before he moaned again. Yongguk looked down at the older man. "I'm getting close." This time Hakyeon had warned the other about how close he was to releasing his load everywhere.

"Me too, Hakyeon. Me too." Yongguk choked out as his pace quickened. This almost pushed all the air out of Hakyeon's lungs. As soon as Yongguk hit the elder's prostate once more, the older man shivered as he went over the edge. Hot cum squirted all over his stomach and chest. Hakyeon rode out his orgasm as Yongguk went over the edge soon after. Yongguk filled the other to the brim with his load and then his movements stilled. The younger collapsed on the bed besides his hyung. Hakyeon had got up to go quickly get cleaned up and while he was gone, Yongguk just laid there panting in the bed waiting for the elder to return. But he didn't know that he was really tired and so his eyes closed without a fight.

Hakyeon had returned about five minutes later. He had seen the sleeping younger on his bed. Yongguk was cute when he slept but this was just the alcohol talking. Junhong was lucky to have a man like Yongguk. The leader cared about his members just like Hakyeon does but with everything that had happened three years ago made his feelings get in the way of caring for his members. This made Hakyeon feel like crap. He should be there with his members instead of with these guys trying to avoid his band. Right now Hakyeon had to go to sleep before he passed out due to the alcohol. As soon as he hit the bed he wrapped the covers around Yongguk and himself to only last for a minute before he was out cold.

Hakyeon woke up with a pounding headache and no memory of the events last night. When the elder woke up Yongguk was in his bed naked but that didn't faze him one bit, well not right away at least. The one thing he worried about first was his headache. How much did he drink at the bar last night. All of a sudden, Junhong burst through the door looking for his boyfriend and was shocked at the sight of his lover in the same bed as Hakyeon. Junhong looked around the room and seen their clothes scattered around the room. This made the younger frown and looked in Hakyeon's direction.

"What happened in here?" Junhong questioned. Hakyeon looked around the room. He scanned the room until his eyes met the younger's once again.

"I don't remember. Must have been too drunk to remember the events of last night," as soon as Hakyeon was done speaking the man beside him turned over to see who was talking and caught a glimpse of his boyfriend and automatically hurriedly sat up, which wasn't a good idea. The world spun around Yongguk as he made the motion of sitting up. His face was flushed of color in seconds.

"What you doing in here Junhong?" Yongguk asked. The leader looked at his boyfriend in confusion. Hakyeon couldn't move since he didn't want the youngest of the three to see him naked with his boyfriend in the same bed. That would be very embarrassing since he didn't remember anything from last night.

"I was looking for you to make sure you didn't get lost somewhere from last night but then I find you in the same bed as Hakyeon," Junhong replied sternly. This wasn't going to end well for the younger two. Tension began to rise in the room as the two stared at each other.

"I don't remember anything from last night, Junhong. Otherwise I would tell you that nothing happened. I must have got sick and he brought me in here because Himchan was probably making love to Jongup as always," Yongguk tried to plead with the other. Junhong tried to look mad but the smile that was threatening its way to his lips was giving him away.

"Alright, get dressed. Himchan wants to meet everybody in the living room. Don't ask me why but there is somebody here who knows Hakyeon and wants him to go back so I would advise Hakyeon to hide in here if he doesn't want to be spotted by his band," Junhong explained. This made Hakyeon's eyes widen in shock. Who had showed up looking for him? This had the elder freaking out about this ordeal.

"Do they know I'm here?" Hakyeon asked the maknae.

"No but I wouldn't show yourself because this person claims he really needs to find you and is asking us for help," Zelo told his hyung. "I think you will be able to hear the conversation if you stand behind the door." The youngest explained to Hakyeon. Once the words were spoken, Zelo walked out of the room allowing Yongguk to get his clothes and get dressed to meet his members while Hakyeon used this time to get dressed as well.

Once the leader of BAP was dressed he left the room leaving Hakyeon in there alone. The elder was also dressed and was now sitting on the floor leaning his back against the door. Hakyeon heard Yongguk ask why the person was here. This wouldn't surprise Hakyeon when one of his band members was going to other bands to see if they had seen the eldest of VIXX.

"What is it you need from us?" Yongguk asked the guest.

"I need help finding Cha Hakyeon he ran away three years ago. I want to find him to apologize," the voice of the man that was there explained. Hakyeon knew who that voice belonged to. His heart stopped beating for a second at the realization of who was looking for him. Taekwoon was in the dorm with the BAP members trying to hunt down Hakyeon to apologize.

 


	5. Being Found

Taekwoon went to every band that he knew to see if they have seen Hakyeon. He would not give up till he found the one person he was looking for. Right now he was in the living room of BAP's dorm asking these members to see if they have any idea where the other is at. Leo looked around the room to each of the members. They looked like crap since he could still smell alcohol on each of them so this did confirm that were at a bar last night. Himchan and Jongup looked at each other like they were hiding something. This had Taekwoon on edge. Maybe they did know where his leader had been hiding all this time. Their leader had just walked into the room.

"What can we help you with?" Yongguk asked the other man. Taekwoon looked at the leader of BAP.

"I need your guys' help with finding the leader of VIXX, Cha Hakyeon. He disappeared three years ago and hasn't returned since. I need to find him so then I can apologize," Taekwoon had told them. This made them all look at him. Why would the leader of his band leave them? This question was probably floating in their mind.

"Why do you need help finding him?" Daehyun asked. This made Taekwoon a little too emotional for his liking. He didn't want to show emotion in this meeting.

"Because he is under a lot of stress after he came home from the trip three years back. I didn't want that to happen as much as he didn't want to see it," Taekwoon told them as the color flushed from his face embarrassed.

"If he wanted to be found wouldn't you have found him already?" Junhong asked the elder.

"I wish I did find him," Taekwoon said more to himself than anybody else.

"We can help you find him," Himchan told the other. Taekwoon's head shot up from where he was looking at the ground hiding his tears from the group before him.

"I couldn't ask for help. This was my fault in the beginning and now I'm trying to find the man I love after three years of being gone," Taekwoon told them. The tears were finally spilling out of his eyes. Youngjae ran to the other's side to try and comfort him. There was nothing they could do when all Taekwoon needed was Hakyeon. "I will take my leave since you have no idea where he is so I can keep going on my search for my leader."

"Be careful, Hakyeon wouldn't want you getting hurt on your way to hunting him down," Jongup told him everybody looked at him except for Taekwoon.

"I will try I just have to find him," Taekwoon had told them before walking out the door of their dorm. The crying man waved to each of the members before he stepped out the door and closed it behind him. This was another dry run in the hunt for Hakyeon. What if Leo will never find the other? There had to be a way to find him. He needed Hakyeon even though he was with Ravi for the time being. He needed the other to live. Taekwoon was losing weight and had been for three years due to him missing the elder but what could he do. He had hurt Hakyeon and he could probably do nothing for him now. This man hunt was tearing him apart from the inside and he hated it. He wanted to be by Hakyeon's side till death made them go their separate ways. The young man was madly in love with the other and didn't realize the extent of the love he had for Hakyeon until the other had run out of the building.

Taekwoon walked down the street in tears because he was getting nowhere with finding the older male. He was beginning to think that the other VIXX members were right. Maybe he would never find the man he loved. There had to be a way to find him. There was going to be a problem if Hakyeon wasn't going to be found. Taekwoon couldn't handle the pain any longer. He was slowly going downhill with every day. He would only eat enough to keep him alive otherwise there was no food in his stomach. He was basically close to starving for three years. The fill in leader was very skinny and it scared every one of his members. They would try their best to get him to forget about Hakyeon and move on. This was the hard part for the rest of VIXX. Once he had reached the dorms, he was met it Ravi on the couch waiting for him.

"You have been crying again haven't you, Jung Taekwoon?" Ravi asked without looking at the elder. Leo just stared at his boyfriend.

"Whenever I am hunting for Hakyeon I tend to I miss him way too much," Leo explained quietly.

"Come here; let me take your mind off of Hakyeon for a few hours," Wonshik told his Hyung. It didn't take Taekwoon long to go over to where Ravi sat. Once Taekwoon was sitting in the seat next to Ravi, the younger put his hand on the side of Taekwoon's face slowly guiding his head closer towards his own. Ravi crashed his lips one Leo's in a sloppy kiss. The taste of the tears that lingered on the elder's lips causing Ravi to want to taste them more. Leo felt the other's tongue poke at his lips asking for permission to ender. Leo didn't hesitate and allowed the other to enter and explore the moist cavern of Leo's mouth.

"We should go to our room," Leo told the other after breaking the heated kiss. The younger nodded and the two hurried to their room. Once they were in the room, Leo was placed on his back on the bed and Ravi was on top of him. This was going to be an exciting few hours. Ravi moved his hands slowly down the sides of Leo's body before he smashed their lips together. This kiss was also sloppy like the last. Ravi moved his hands to go under Taekwoon's shirt. Leo knew he would want to remove the piece of clothing that was in his way. Ravi broke the kiss to then remove said shirt and his own before the kissing resumed. Ravi then started kissing Leo's jaw line down to his neck. Leo turned his head to give more access to his neck.

Soon enough, all clothing was gone and Ravi had his hand around Taekwoon's hard shaft. Leo was a moaning mess with Ravi's touches. The pressure slowly built in his gut. Ravi's hand had gone faster up and down along the member. After about a few more movements Ravi stopped to grab lube from the bedside table in their shared room. With the liquid, Ravi slicked his fingers and positioned his index finger to Leo's entrance. Before too long the finger was inside Taekwoon but not moving for the other to get used to the intrusion. Once Ravi felt the other relax, the second finger was added. Then the third and fourth were added stretching the muscles to get him ready for the real deal.

Within a minute, Ravi was inside Leo. The elder was tight around him but he knew Taekwoon was enjoying it. Once the elder had relaxed, the younger man began to move. Ravi pulled himself all the way out and pushed back in hitting Leo's prostate. He knew he had hit it when Taekwoon let a moan escape his lips. As the pressure built for Ravi, Taekwoon had reduced to a moaning mess beneath him. This didn't surprise Ravi much as he knew how it felt to have his prostate him multiple times. This was one thing he knew well. The goal was to bring Taekwoon happiness when Hakyeon was gone and probably far away from the other. Taekwoon couldn't live without Hakyeon and it showed on the others features. The younger's thrusts became faster and harsher. Soon enough they both were over their limit. Taekwoon let go first with hot cum on his stomach and chest. Ravi followed seconds later.

Taekwoon just laid there in bed with Ravi next to him. Ravi was right; he could get the other to forget about Hakyeon for a while but not for very long. This was something that he couldn't stop thinking about. Hakyeon was everything to Taekwoon. He was the oxygen, water food and Happiness. His absence let an empty place Hakyeon just in case he was to return. There was a slight chance that the other wasn't going to come back to him. Hakyeon was missed by every member of VIXX but his disappearance hurt Leo the most. Leo stayed on his back looking at the ceiling. What would life be like if Leo was in the same bed but instead of Ravi it was N. would Leo be overjoyed or just flat out excited. If Hakyeon was here, would he love Leo? All kinds of questions ran through Leo's head. There had to be something he could have done to keep the other with them. Why did he have to love a man that left him in the long run? Was this just a way to get back at him? He must have really deserved this treatment if the man he loved had got up and walked out on him. There had to be a way to bring the older man back. Leo sat up in the bed and tried not to start crying for the thousandth time that day.

Taekwoon got up from the bed and searched for his clothes. Just laying here wasn't going to find Hakyeon. This was only a stopping point for a small break in Leo's mind. The man would not stop for very long. Taekwoon would be the first to leave the dorm and last to return. There was no in between when it came to Hakyeon. Once he had retrieved his clothes from the floor, the young man got dressed and was about to head out the just before somebody tapped his shoulder. Wonshik had gotten up and dressed without Taekwoon knowing. This was new to the elder. He knew what Ravi wanted to do. The younger wanted to go with him to help him with the search. Ravi may have thought this wasn't it but it helped Leo everyday they wouldn't get closer to finding the leader of VIXX.

"will we find a clue today?" Ravi asked the older man. There was a tinge of hope between the two men searching for the lost member.

"Who knows," Taekwoon told him sadly. He was mad at himself for showing emotion towards the other.

"I hope we do," Ravi proclaimed with a small smile.

"I hope so, too," Leo told the other. With this, the two were off to search Seoul again. The two traveled everywhere in the city. So far, they didn't see anybody that could have been Hakyeon. But something changed their way of thinking when they went to the park. Taekwoon and Ravi scanned the area around the park until they spotted a man with bright red hair. Leo tried to get a better look at the small man. That was when Taekwoon froze. Hakyeon sat at a picnic table with the six members of BAP. Wonshik looked at Taekwoon and then to Hakyeon. Taekwoon's heart fluttered in his chest. One of the members that was with Hakyeon nudged him and pointed right at Leo and Ravi.

"Cha Hakyeon?" Leo called out questioningly. Something flashed in Hakyeon's eyes that Leo couldn't understand. The older man looked hurt by the sight of Jung Taekwoon.


	6. The Run and Break Up

"Leo?" Hakyeon called back. Taekwoon was surprised the other hadn't run the other direction as Taekwoon made his way towards the man he loved more than anybody else. Once Taekwoon was right in front of Hakyeon, he stopped moving. He didn't want to hurt the other man. Leo just watched Hakyeon closely. That was until Hakyeon hugged him. This surprised the younger but it was nice to feel Hakyeon again. Shortly after, Hakyeon pushed Taekwoon away. The other's face had a slight shade of pink. He surprised the younger but it didn't bother him any since he was happy to be with Hakyeon again after three horrible years.

"Come home," Leo told his hyung. This made the other look to the soft grass under his feet.

"I can't, Taekwoonie," Hakyeon answered without looking at the younger man. Taekwoon couldn't believe what he just heard. He wanted Hakyeon so bad but the other refused to go back with him. This made Taekwoon want to bust into tears. He couldn't handle the rejection of the man he loved most. This scared Leo in a way. This couldn't be happening to him.

"Why can't you?" Taekwoon questioned the other. Taekwoon glared at Hakyeon. The older man wasn't surprised by this action. He never thought Leo had some kind of bravery. Hakyeon stared at the other. Why did Taekwoon want him to go back so bad? Taekwoon was trying his best to bring Hakyeon home.

"I don't belong there anymore," Hakyeon answered the younger. This sparked anger in Leo. It must have been pointless to hunt down and bring him. What angered Leo most was him thinking that he didn't belong with Vixx anymore. Taekwoon had worked hard to keep the band going but it always threw him in the hospital.

"Hakyeon, for the past three years I have tried to be you in the group and worked so hard I almost ended up in a hospital bed in Japan. I need you to come back so I don't do that again. I can't play two roles without you," Taekwoon spat angrily. This scared N a lot more then intended. Leo had never yelled at him like this before. This was a whole new side to the younger man that Hakyeon never knew.

"Leo..." Hakyeon tried to explain.

"No, Hakyeon. This just hurts to know that you don't want to be a part of us again," Leo told him as tears fell.

"Leo," Hakyeon whispered.

"I have spent three years looking for you and when I do find you, this is the excuse you gave me. I wanted to explain what happened that day to you but I guess there is no use for it now," Leo continued. This kept the man crying. Ravi walked up comforting circles on him boyfriend's back. Hakyeon stood there frozen. After a few seconds, he turned and looked at Himchan. The younger man gave him a sad look.

"I'm sorry, Taekwoonie," Hakyeon replied sadly.

"Sorry doesn't justify you leaving me for three years," Taekwoon snapped. Rage was filling him till he couldn't stop it. "You left me and I suffered everything alone. The panic attacks are what got me the most. I don't fight them anymore. I let them consume me. Everything I deal with now is like depression and even worse panic attacks are all because you left me to suffer alone. I don't get help because they too will leave me," Taekwoon informed the other.

"Taekwoonie," Hakyeon pleaded. Tears rolled down Hakyeon's cheeks now knowing the pain he has caused the others. Just then, Taekwoon grabbed his chest like there was something stabbing him there. This rage must have triggered a panic attack right before Hakyeon's very own eyes. Hakyeon tried to help him but Ravi held him back. Hakyeon watched in horror as Taekwoon let it win against him and the younger fell to his knees. Taekwoon's head slowly headed towards the ground trying to hide the pain evident on his face. The three of them were like this for what seemed like an hour. Taekwoon tried to stand on his own two feet but couldn't. Ravi rushed to his Boyfriend's side to help him stand up again. Pain was still there on Leo's face. The fear of everything around Taekwoon disappearing was still there but he tried to hide it enough to not have Hakyeon trying to get in his life again.

"Taekwoon, we should go. It's only going to get worse if we stay here," Ravi told the older man. The fear and pain of not being able to breathe correctly still evident on the elder's face.

"I guess we should," Taekwoon told the other with a raspy voice. Hakyeon just looked at Taekwoon with a worried look.

"Taekwoonie, I want to talk to you before you walk off," Hakyeon told the younger man. Taekwoon just stared at his elder for a few moments.

"No, not today, Hakyeon. I don't have time right now. I have a band to take care of in your absence. Even if it kills me I have to stay strong for them since you failed," Taekwoon told him. This statement broke Hakyeon's heart. Hearing that he failed to care for the band from the man he loved just hurt him. Every single day he regretted leaving VIXX and leaving Leo. There were times when he wished Taekwoon would have followed him and showed him that he loved him but that never happened. After three years he gets to see the man again just to hear these hurtful words to his face. Hakyeon couldn't hold it in anymore. He cried so hard he fell face first on the ground. This hurt way too much.

He felt a hand on his back which just caused him to cry harder. He wanted to tell Taekwoon how he felt. He wanted him to know how much he really meant to him. Hakyeon wanted to tell him that he was jealous because he was with Ravi. To tell him that the reason he ran away was because he was with Ravi back when he came home from the trip. There was a long list on what he wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him how he felt all three years he was far away from him. But Taekwoon didn't want to hear it. Hakyeon had hurt Taekwoon to the point he didn't care no more. This really was the end of them. And it was all for nothing. He really wanted Taekwoon to know what was meant by him leaving for three years.

"Taekwoonie, I just wanted to tell you that I loved you," Hakyeon told the younger in front of him. Hakyeon hurriedly stood up, looked back at the members of BAP and ran off once again. This time Taekwoon was chasing him. There was no way Taekwoon was going to let him run off yet again.

"Hakyeon," Taekwoon called as he grabbed the elder's wrist. This stopped Hakyeon right on the spot.

"Stop Taekwoon, I don't want to hurt you anymore. It seems that you are happy with Ravi and I'm not going to ruin that too," Hakyeon cried.

"What you are doing is hurting me," Taekwoon explained. I don' t like Ravi like I love you."

"Just leave me alone Jung Taekwoon. You have a band to take care of. All I did was run from my problems. I'm a coward," Hakyeon told him in between sniffles. At this moment, Taekwoon let go of Hakyeon's wrist and let the older man run away, again. He knew this was a mistake but that was what Hakyeon wanted and he couldn't say no to him. Once the elder was out of sight, Taekwoon turned around to seven pairs of eyes fixed on him. The tears that Taekwoon hadn't realized he had been holding back slowly rolled their way towards the ground.

"Taekwoon-ah, we tried our best to get him to go back to you as well but he wouldn't listen to us either," Daehyun told the older man.

"We might want to go back to see if he will go back to our dorm. That's the only place he knows besides his own dorm," Junhong told the rest if BAP. The other five members stared at him in disbelief. Taekwoon what the younger was saying so he started walking in the direction of their place to live. It was time for Taekwoon to head back home. He had enough pain and sadness for the day. He just wanted to hide and cry his heart out again. He had got to see Hakyeon only for him to run away again. The members of the other band watched with worry as the young man and his so called boyfriend walked away from them.

The walk home was silent and sadness hung in the air like it was going to suffocate Taekwoon after the events of the day with Hakyeon. The words played in Taekwoon's mind over and over. I just wanted to tell you I loved you. Did Hakyeon really love him in return? If so then why would he run off yet again. This really confused the young man as he walked with tears in his eyes. Ravi was beside him giving him worried glances. There were hurtful words that were said from both Taekwoon and Hakyeon and he knew Leo was hurting on the inside. This was just something the younger didn't want Taekwoon to hurt himself over. But Taekwoon had other ideas. There was so going to be pain involved. Just not self inflicted pain.

Once they were in front of the building of where their dorm was, the two headed inside to then go to their dorm. They enter the small elevator and pressed the floor it was on. Soon enough the elevator was moving and more tears fell from Taekwoon's eyes slowly and quietly. This was what he got for being taken advantage of by Ravi in the first place. This mess was all Ravi's fault and now Taekwoon was hurting because of it. There was nothing Taekwoon could do to bring back the man he loved. What was he going to do since he can't be with Hakyeon thanks to the man next to him.

"Wonshik," Taekwoon said with sadness in his voice. The younger looked at him.

"Yes, Taekwoon," Ravi replied. Taekwoon wouldn't look at him but he knew the older man was trying not to let tears fall.

"I want the room to myself. See if Ken would house you for the night," Taekwoon told him. Ravi looked at him with disbelief.

"Why?" Wonshik questioned. This time Taekwoon looked right at him. Ravi could see the sadness behind the elder's eyes.

"I just want to be alone," Taekwoon answered.

"I can't let you do that," Ravi told him quickly.

"This is all your fault anyway," Taekwoon whispered loud enough for Ravi to hear.

"Something might happen to you. I can't let that happen," Ravi proclaimed to the elder.

"Then I can't be with you anymore," Taekwoon said flatly.

"You breaking up with me?" Ravi asked.

"Yeah," was Taekwoon's answer.


	7. Collapse

Taekwoon entered the room he used to share with Hakyeon like he always did. Hakyeon's side of the room has collected dust over the years. Taekwoon hasn't touched anything on his side except for his bed. The smell of Hakyeon was slowly disappearing and being replaced with Taekwoon but that didn't bother him one bit. The only thing that mattered was the bed that reminded him of Hakyeon and the picture of said man on the bedside table. This is how Taekwoon had survived this long. He kind of felt happy about dumping Wonshik in the elevator about a week ago. He finally got enough courage to make the other go to the one he really wants. Yes Ravi has a secret crush on Jaehwan, Which he has been trying to hide for a long time and it didn't work very well since everybody but Ken knows.

As hours pass by, Taekwoon stays in his room around Hakyeon's things. He really wants to be by Hakyeon but he knows he can't for now since Hakyeon thinks that he shouldn't come back. There were days when Taekwoon thought that the older man was not going to return and then he almost smacked himself for thinking such a thing. Life for Leo just kept getting worse. Maybe the best way to get out of it was to disappear and die. But he couldn't do that because ha has to take care of the other band members. He was their leader since Hakyeon left them as well as Taekwoon. He was the only one to take care of them. A knock sounded at the door which broke Taekwoon from his thoughts.

"Leo-hyung," Hyuk's voice was heard from the other side of the locked door. "Can I ask something?"

"Yeah, hold on Hyukkie," Taekwoon called as he got up from Hakyeon's bed to unlock the door and let the maknae of the group in. Once the younger was in he shut the door again and walked back to Hakyeon's bed and sat as the younger went to sit on Leo's bed. Taekwoon looked over the younger to make sure nothing was wrong with him or if he was hurt. Leo acted like a father figure to the other four members.

"Can I ask a question?" Hyuk asked the older man.

"Of course, Hyuk," Taekwoon answered with a shy smile.

"Did you see Hakyeon?" Hyuk asked. Leo just shook his head. "will he return?"

"I doubt it, Hyukkie," Taekwoon answered the Maknae.

"I really want hyung back," Hyuk told the older man.

"I know, Hyuk. I know," Taekwoon replied in a soft voice.

"Do you really love Hakyeon hyung?" Hyuk asked. This had Taekwoon thinking for a minute. Was this worth saying now that Hakyeon was never coming back? There was nothing left of this love with the other gone for good this time. Taekwoon was over thinking this but it was all he had with the other gone. There were times he just had to think of the future if Hakyeon never came back to him and he would have to be stuck with Ravi unless the other confessed to Jaehwan about his feelings for him and was happier with him.

"Yes Hyuk," Taekwoon answered the maknae of VIXX. He didn't even notice his voice cracked. The younger looked at Taekwoon apologetically like it was not something that should be discussed as this moment.

"Then you must have dumped Ravi then," Hyuk whispered loud enough for the other to hear. This had caused a single tear to roll down Taekwoon's cheek. The older man thought the crying days were over. But Taekwoon was wrong again. Hyuk noticed this and got up and went over to Leo to hug him and try to reassure him that no matter what Hakyeon was going to come back. Hyuk knew he needed to get Taekwoon to calm down some before a panic attack hit.

"I did dump Ravi. He needs Ken not me," Leo answered softly. This had Hyuk confused in seconds. "Ravi secretly liked Ken before this happened and then somehow he liked me too. I am giving him the chance to be with his real crush."

"That makes sense, hyung," Hyuk told him.

"You should go to bed we have a performance tomorrow," Taekwoon told the younger. This made the younger nod and Hyuk left the room soon after. Taekwoon was now left by himself. There was going to be another long night for him. He finally got to see Hakyeon after three years of being missing but this wasn't the meeting he hoped to have. He just couldn't handle this anymore. He needed Hakyeon badly but the other won't return. There had to be a way but right now he needed to get some sleep for the performance that they had the following day. And so he just lay down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. This was the only way he would get to sleep now is just sit till he was too tired to keep awake. He was always exhausted by morning and was just flat out tired through each event. The other members knew this but never commented on it. After about a couple hours, everything went dark for Taekwoon.

The next morning came fast. The sun shone through the curtains in the room that Taekwoon was in. he was still lying on Hakyeon's bed when he woke up which made him sad yet again. Every morning he would be sad to wake up and Hakyeon was still not there with him. Everything just wasn't going to be like it used to be but there was something that Taekwoon would be fighting for. What broke him from his thoughts was Hongbin.

"Taekwoon, you better hurry. The car is on its way here to pick us up to get us ready for the performance today," Hongbin told the older man. Taekwoon gave him a quick nod and the boy left. Taekwoon got up and hurriedly got dressed since the car was to be there in a few minutes. Once the older man was dressed and ready to go, they all met up in the living room to wait for the vehicle to arrive. Very soon after they met up the vehicle arrived and they all got into the car and were off to where the performance was.

The drive to the place was short but short enough for Leo to fall asleep. Once Ravi shook him awake, since the rapper was sitting next to the older man, Leo just tried to wake up fast but there was something wrong. The feeling was returning but stronger. He just wanted to keep calm for one minute but the fear was back. Everything about Hakyeon was coming back. The other members could sense that something was going on with Taekwoon so they all looked at him. That's when they noticed that he was having another panic attack. For three years they tried to keep him calm but slowly he told them to let them come. He begged them to let the fear consume him. And so that is what the other members did.

Once they had arrived at their location, they got out of the vehicle. By this time, the panic attack was over. There was peace for now with the fear of Hakyeon never going back to him. Taekwoon was very upset that Hakyeon didn't want to be with him anymore. There was no hope for Taekwoon now. There was only pain for him since Hakyeon is no longer around them. This was going to be the version of Taekwoon that nobody liked. The quiet Taekwoon was the one that most hated and now they were so deal with him since the pain for Taekwoon was too much.

"Let's go. There isn't much time to get ready," their manager called out to the members of VIXX. The members rushed to their makeup room. This was their room to get ready for the performance. Taekwoon was getting more tired by the second. The makeup artists were waiting for the five men to arrive once they were in the room. Each one took a seat at a mirror for the stylists and the makeup artists to start on their jobs then move to the clothing. This performance was just a small concert but everybody around the world will see it. It was televised for this reason.

For about thirty minutes, the stylists and the artists worked on each of the members and were now finished with their part in the preparation. It was now time for the clothing and then off to the stage for the waiting for the event to start. The clothing for this concert was not hard to deal with. This album was a good one for the group. This concert was for the album Chained Up. This was going to be a long concert but that didn't bother the five members. Maybe Hakyeon was watching from where ever he was. That's what kept them going. It even kept Taekwoon going. The acting leader pushed himself too much just to deem presentable to the older man if he watched them. That was why he was always exhausted. Taekwoon never did take good care of himself but he did take care of the other four.

The five members of VIXX were now ready for their concert after a half an hour. Their manager ushered them towards the stage that they would be coming on. Each member was nervous due to their hope to do well without Hakyeon for another round of concerts. They acted this way for three years and now they know that Hakyeon may never return because Taekwoon told them what the older man had said. This kind of enraged a few of the members but they didn't say anything because they could tell how much Taekwoon was hurt by the words. Ravi had slowly grown closer to Ken which made Taekwoon settle down some. He was glad the other could be happy about his decision. Once their manager told them it was time to go on stage, the five members made their way onto the stage.

The multiple people in the crowd screamed as they entered the stage. This made Taekwoon stop dwelling on Hakyeon leaving for good. He needed to be happy for the fans. What he didn't know was that he was too exhausted to do much. The makeshift leader made it through the first two songs. When it was time for Error to be playing, the eldest of the group dropped to the ground. He was way too exhausted for this. Worried gasps came from the crowd. The other members rushed to Taekwoon to see if he was alright.

"Leo, are you all right?" Hyuk asked the older man. There was no response.

"He is too exhausted. He needs a break," Hongbin replied to the maknae. The members just looked at their makeshift leader with worrying eyes. There had to be something they had to do.

"We need to get help," Ken told them. They all nodded before Ravi ran off stage to get help for the elder man.

"Somebody needs to address the fans. They may want to know that Taekwoon will be fine," Hongbin tried to be calm about the situation.

"But what if he isn't alright?" Hyuk asked. Hongbin just looked at the maknae with a serious expression.

"Well, then the fans won't have to know about it," Hongbin replied to the maknae.

"I will address them," Ken told the younger man. Ken then stood up and started talking to the fans. The other three standing members then tried to get Taekwoon up and moving towards the backstage. After a few minutes, Taekwoon felt that he was being put into an ambulance. The sirens were going but he couldn't hear anything besides all his muscles scream for rest. This was what Taekwoon really wanted to avoid but he knew he pushed himself a little too far. He could feel that he was getting sleepy. The older of the five was pushing himself to stay awake so then he could reassure that he was going to be alright even if he thought that he wasn't completely alright. He really didn't want to get his strength back. Taekwoon was ready to leave since he was never going to get Hakyeon back.

Taekwoon was awake still when he was placed in a hospital room. That's when the checkups started. The eldest of VIXX couldn't hear anything that the doctors were saying to the other members of the band but he hoped that they were getting good news. He didn't want to make the other four worry over his well being. This just wasn't sitting well with Leo. Taekwoon was now starting to lose consciousness. Slowly the world was going black. As soon as he did, he began to dream wonderful things. And that was the last thing he wanted.


	8. Hakyeon Watches

Hakyeon went back to BAP's dorm. The leader of VIXX couldn't help but feel bad. He caused a lot of pain for the younger man that he loved so much. It was enough to satisfy him that his band was doing better without him then with him. Hakyeon jumped on his computer to do research on his own members. He wanted to know how they really were doing without the oldest member. This was one thing that he constantly did. Hakyeon would secretly "stalk" the members of VIXX to make sure they were still doing their best without him. People could say that he didn't care but the thing that surprised his friends in BAP was that Hakyeon would always watch everything that his members would do on stage and on social media sites.

Hakyeon had been on his computer for hours before he noticed that it was getting late. The clock showed way past 10:00am. He was about to shut his computer off till something caught his eye. There was a schedule for the band VIXX and there was a performance tomorrow. This kind of made the older man happy. He will get to watch them on a screen again. The last time he actually got to watch his band perform was when they released the album before this year's one. He really hated seeing Ravi so close to Taekwoon but that didn't matter now since the two were together and Hakyeon was finally out of the picture. But that never meant that he could watch the members behind the scenes. Hakyeon then shut his computer down. Hakyeon didn't notice that the maknae of BAP was standing next to him.

"Maybe you should go back to him," Zelo told the older man, Hakyeon jumped a little and rapidly turned his face to look at the owner of the voice. "What's the matter, Hakyeon hyung? Did I scare you?"

"No you didn't scare me Zelo-ah, and you know I can't go back. I will end up hurting him more," Hakyeon answered after he calmed down a little.

"But he is hurting more then you know," Zelo tried to reason with the man before him. This made Hakyeon stare at the younger man before him. N knew that this was risky but he was bound to make Leo's life better then when it was with him around.

"He must be happy with Ravi though," Hakyeon reminded the other. This made the young rapper look at Hakyeon with narrowed eyes. This had the older man thinking. Was everything really alright with him being gone from VIXX entirely?

"You really can't see what is really going on with Leo, can you?" Zelo asked.

"Is there a point? He wouldn't want me to return. Not after three years of being gone," Hakyeon told the younger. He was now getting frustrated by what Zelo was telling him. Was he really missing something about this whole situation?

"Well I guess you are going to end up losing the Leo you know for a new version of him," Zelo whispered loud enough for Hakyeon to hear him. This made the older man freeze.

"What should I do, Zelo-ah?" Hakyeon snapped. "Should I just go up to him and ask him to forgive me for all the pain I had caused him? That will definitely not work the way I would hope."

"I guess you will lose him for good this time," Zelo told him before he left the room. Hakyeon was left to himself for the rest of the night afterwards. Not even Himchan stopped by to check on the poor man.

The night's rest flew by fast after Hakyeon had fallen asleep on his comfortable bed that the members of BAP gave him to sleep on. The sun was shining in through his window. Hakyeon hated the mornings, but today made him all happy on the inside. He could get to see VIXX perform on the TV once again. He couldn't wait to see how they are on music this year. He really hoped nothing bad was going to happen but he was having the same feeling that he did when he saw Ravi and Taekwoon the day he came back from the trip. He felt that something was going to go wrong.

BAP had the day off, which surprised the group since they rarely get time off to themselves. The seven people gathered in the living area as Hakyeon ferociously searched for the channel that VIXX was going to be on in a little bit. Himchan and Yongguk watched Hakyeon act very weird for the first time that day. They didn't understand the actions of their dongsaeng but they didn't stop him either. They at least knew that it had to be something about Taekwoon. This had the older two worried still. Why doesn't Hakyeon just go back to the man if he really wants to act like this? Was there something that Hakyeon was hiding?

Hakyeon found the channel that they were going to be on and sighed since he didn't miss any of it yet. The announcer called to Hakyeon's group. Each member made their way to the stage with smiles on their faces. Hakyeon scanned each member closely. Hyuk and Ken had reddish eyes, Hongbin was tired, Ravi looked depressed. This had Hakyeon thinking. Did Leo dump Ravi? Hakyeon then let his eyes wonder to the man in question. Hakyeon was not pleased with what he saw though. Taekwoon looked like a walking zombie. Taekwoon was pale and his eyes showed that he worked himself too hard. There were dark bags under his eyes. Hakyeon knew there was something bothering Taekwoon. As he watched, Hakyeon could tell that Leo was slowly going downhill. The farther they got with the performance, the slower Leo got. That was until the unimaginable happened.

Taekwoon had collapsed on stage in front of all the Starlights. Hakyeon was breathless. Was he the reason to Taekwoon's downfall? Was he a little too harsh for the other man? Right now, Taekwoon was down and unconscious and Hakyeon watched in horror as the members of VIXX ran to see if he was alright. People from back stage were rushing to get to Leo as they all panicked. Hakyeon could feel that every member of B.A.P was watching him now. Ken came on screen seconds later telling everybody that Taekwoon was to me taken to the hospital immediately and should be back on stage at their next performance. With that, everybody on stage made their way off following a stretcher with Leo on it. That is when Hakyeon lost control of his body. He knew where they would take Taekwoon and that is where he was going to run to. Even the members of B.A.P were following him.

Hakyeon ran for god knows how long and finally made it to the front entrance of the hospital that Leo was taken to. Hakyeon looked behind him to see Yongguk, Himchan and the others with him. It had been a week since he had seen Taekwoon and now this is what it takes for him to go back to him. Once the seven of them caught their breath they all headed inside. The group walked over to the waiting room to see if the members of Hakyeon's band were there, which they were.

"Hakyeon-hyung?" Hakyeon heard Jaehwan's voice.

"Wait, Hakyeon-hyung is here, too?" Hyuk asked.

"Hey guys," Hakyeon awkwardly greeted.

"Where the hell have you been?" Hongbin questioned.

"He has been with us. We have been taking care of him since he had his heart smashed to pieces by two of your members," Himchan told the rest of VIXX trying to protect Hakyeon.

"At least I understand your pain, Hakyeon," Jaehwan spoke softly but Hakyeon could still hear him. Hakyeon wondered what he meant by that until he remembered that Jaehwan had asked him years ago about love advice with Wonshik but he never did get to tell him since he was supposed to tell him that night he ran off.

"I'm sorry Jaehwan," Hakyeon told the younger.

"There was nothing you could do, hyung. You only wanted to run and that's alright I should of too but I would have nowhere to go so I stayed and fought depression," Ken told the only one who could understand. Hongbin and Hyuk were fine due to the fact they had each other but Ken loved Ravi and Ravi hurt him with chasing after Leo.

"You could have just come with me," Hakyeon told the younger.

"But what about us?" Hyuk asked his leader.

"You guys can handle yourselves," Hakyeon told the maknae.

"What about Leo hyung?" Hongbin asked.

"He has Ravi remember, he doesn't need me," Hakyeon replied softly.

"Taekwoon broke up with Ravi," Hyuk told the elder sternly. This cause Hakyeon to freeze in his tracks. Did Taekwoon really dump Ravi? This world must be coming to an end.

"Why?" Daehyun asked the maknae of the other group.\

"You're standing next to him. Without Hakyeon, Taekwoon feels like a nobody therefore this is the outcome of that without our leader Taekwoon is nothing will be nothing until he can't take it anymore and will cease to exist," Hongbin explained to them.

"You must be joking, Hongbin," Hakyeon tried to get them to stop lying but he didn't know that this was the truth. He didn't want to believe in the truth anymore. He had been hurting for years and now he hears this. There must be a mistake.

"We a-are not joking, Hakyeon," Jaehwan stuttered. This had Hakyeon stunned.

"Why would he dump him if he was happy with him?" Hakyeon asked the other members.

"He was never happy, hyung," Hyuk replied. "He dumped Ravi for ruining his life by making you run away. When we are at the dorm he wouldn't leave the room you two shared aofr months after you left. Taekwoon shut everybody out and would just give up. Hongbin and Jaehwan had to stop him from trying to kill himself because he thought he was the main reason why you left. He thought you hated him, Hakyeon."

"It is also the reason behind this incident as well," Hongbin added.

"He misses you but you told him you would never come back and so now he is taking it to heart and punishing himself for it," Ravi finally replying something after coming here. A doctor appeared after Ravi spoke. The doctor looked between the eleven people huddled into a small group. Each other the group looked around at each other.

"Mr. Jung is resting but he is going to be fine," the doctor explained to them. Hakyeon sighed in relief. Taekwoon was going to be alright. That was all Hakyeon needed to hear.


	9. The Leader Returns

The group was sitting in the waiting area for about an hour after the doctor came. They all wanted to see him but they weren't allowing visitors till he woke up or something. Hakyeon really wanted to see Taekwoon but he had to be patient. That was until his stomach growled giving the signal that he was hungry. This was the one thing that Hakyeon couldn't be patient for.

"I'm going to run to the cafeteria," Hakyeon told everybody.

"Let me come with you," Himchan proclaimed.

"Me too," Hyuk added.

"I'm coming," Jongup told them and with that the four of them went on to walking to the cafeteria of the hospital.

The walk through the hospital hallways were quiet. There were faint screams of pain and there was a light smell of death. Hakyeon shivered a little at this stuff. The walls were white and the floor of the hallways was made of ceramic tiles that were shiny. It took them about fifteen minutes to get to the food area before all hell broke loose. People were everywhere. It was noisy and crowded. The crowd was thinning out but it was still crowded. The four men walked towards where they pay and receive the food they wanted. They each paid and got their food. The four of them walked to an empty table. Once they all sat down that's when the talking started.

"Are you going to check of Taekwoon-hyung, Hakyeon-Hung?" Hyuk asked.

"Of course, I am, Hyukkie," Hakyeon replied.

"You should stay with your band, Hakyeon," Himchan told the leader of the other group.

"Yeah, Hakyeon. Leo needs you more then he needs the four of us," Hyuk added.

"It is smart to stay with them," Jongup told Hakyeon.

"Maybe I should if that would keep Taekwoon from doing this again," Hakyeon told them. He picked up a piece of egg with his fork and placed it in his mouth to chew.

"Come back to us, hyung," Hyuk told Hakyeon.

"It may give you the chance to fix things between Taekwoon and yourself," Himchan explained to Hakyeon.

"I will go back with my members," Hakyeon stated. This made them all smile. It was the first time in a long time that Hakyeon wanted to go back. Taekwoon drew the line and Hakyeon was going to make sure Leo never did this again.

Once they returned to where the others were, everybody that stayed there looked towards Hakyeon. Hakyeon got a little nervous but it wasn't going to bother him right now. The only thing that bothered him was that Leo was in a hospital bed due to the actions Hakyeon did last time he saw Leo. He should have just went back with Leo that day to stop this from happening but he was too stubborn to care about the other's feelings. He just had to do what he did to cause the man he loved and cared about to be unconscious and in the hospital.

"Hakyeon, we were all thinking, you should go see Taekwoon first the doctor is letting visitors but only one for today," Yongguk told the younger.

"So, he is awake?" Hakyeon asked.

"Yeah, so you go and talk to him," Himchan encouraged.

"Alright. I will go see him," Hakyeon told them all. And so, Hakyeon left the room and walked to the room they told him that Taekwoon was in. it was a long walk but it was alright. Hakyeon was going to tell Taekwoon that he was going to come back to VIXX's dorm and be a part of the band again. Hopefully Taekwoon will be happy with that decision when he hears it.

Hakyeon walked till he stood in front of Taekwoon's door. The older of the too stood as he contemplated what Taekwoon would think seeing him. Would he be mad? Sure, he would since Hakyeon had never cared till now. Would he be happy that Hakyeon was going to return? Nobody knew. There was only one way to find out. And that was what Hakyeon was about to do was find out Taekwoon's reaction to all of this. Either it was going to be good or bad. Hakyeon hoped he would make the younger man happy. And so he slowly opened the door to the hospital room.

When Hakyeon stood in the room after he shut the door behind him, Taekwoon just stared confused. Taekwoon didn't understand why Hakyeon was there. Did the older man come to understand his words from the other day? Did Hakyeon finally understand what he meant to Taekwoon? This was a total surprise to the man in the hospital bed. Usually Hakyeon would run from him and not come to him.

"What you here for, Hakyeon?" Taekwoon asked in confusion.

"I came to tell you that I have decided to return to VIXX," Hakyeon answered. "It's about time I returned to what I loved the most."

"But wouldn't you be too broken to even join us," Taekwoon asked. This caught Hakyeon off guard.

"I can handle it as long as you don't pull this stunt again," Hakyeon assured. Taekwoon smiled a little. Maybe he could have Hakyeon back. Maybe everything could go back to the way it used to be.

"You better be able to handle it, Cha Hakyeon," Taekwoon told him. This earned a small chuckle from the older man.

"You should get some rest Taekwoon," Hakyeon told the younger man.

"But I don't want to," Taekwoon replied trying to sit up in the hospital bed. He managed to make it but his body screamed in tiredness. Hakyeon rushed to his bedside trying to get him to stop and rest. The younger man needed to take his time and rest.

"Please Taekwoon, rest and get better so you can see the fans once again," Hakyeon told the other sternly. Taekwoon just stared at the slightly older man.

"You run off and never show up for three years and now you're worried about what the fans will think?" Taekwoon replied clearly upset at Hakyeon.

'Taekwoon, I am back and I'm here to stay this time. No more running but staying with VIXX and enjoying the music life," Hakyeon told the younger man.

"Well that's good to hear," Taekwoon spoke as he laid back on the hospital bed. He was ready for his rest knowing that Hakyeon was going to be back with VIXX when he woke up. It was great to hear that he was wanting to come back to VIXX and wanting to come back to him. And now he might be able to sleep better at night when he gets out of this hospital bed. This was the best day in three years.


	10. The End

A year has gone by and everything seemed normal. Taekwoon and Hakyeon were together again and enjoying their life. Every time they didn't have practice the two were either on dinner dates or watching movies back at the dorm. The two have forgiven each other and now the life of VIXX was restored. They were now preparing for a concert now. It wasn't any concert. BAP and VIXX had become friends in the past year and they had planned this concert together.

"Are you ready, Cha Hakyeon?" Yongguk asked the other leader.

"I was born ready," Hakyeon answered.

"Let's do this," Himchan cheered. And so, the twelve members made their way on stage. They each had a smile on their faces and were going to have fun. This was the first time the Babyz and the Starlights were to merge together for a concert for both bands. Once they appeared, the crowd went wild. And with that the concert had officially started.

Hours passed and the songs were ending. Each member embraced the glory they held as they worked alongside one of their trusted friends. This was only the beginning of a great friendship but that was alright to Hakyeon. He enjoyed working with the people who helped him for three years to give himself enough courage to return to VIXX and to Taekwoon. The two bands were just having a blast to the very end.

Once the concert was over the two groups went their separate ways for the night. VIXX made their way to the van and each of them got in the maknae line in the back and the hyungs were in the front sections with the driver and their manager in the very front. Hakyeon was sitting in the middle so he had Ken on one side and Taekwoon on the other. Hakyeon was extremely happy to be with them again. Even if he was a little childish to run off but that brought the group closer in the end. The leader wasn't like he used to but he was going to get back in shape.

The group arrived at their dorm and were ushered inside. Fans were waiting and tried to get autographs from each of the members. It wasn't long before they were past the screaming fans and into their dorm. The six members went to the couch like they always did. The group would reflect o each concert right after so then they would notify the manager the next day of their thoughts on the concert. This was how the band grew stronger. They reflected on each concert to then get better then the time before.

"So, what did you think about this one?" Hakyeon asked the group.

"It went well even with the other band there," Ken replied. Hakyeon nodded his head with approval.

"I did go well. Better than before," Ravi told the group. The rest agreed and that made everybody happy.

"We should get some rest," Leo told the group. The others agreed and Hakyeon yawned at that. Taekwoon stood up and grabbed Hakyeon's hand gently and stood him up. He then led the older man to their room so he could get him to sleep. Hakyeon had a hard time getting used to the way they lived. Once the two were in their shared room, Taekwoon helped Hakyeon change into his sleepwear. This was normal between the two since they were back together after the three years of hunting and fighting. Once Hakyeon was dressed for bed, Taekwoon walked him to their shared bed which was Hakyeon's to start with. Taekwoon then walked to the bathroom to change his own clothes and take a quick shower.

Meanwhile in the bedroom, Hakyeon was staring at the ceiling. He was waiting on the younger man to return so he could get sleep. Ever since he came back he could sleep better. There was something about Taekwoon that made him sleep better. It must have been the love that the two shared. Hakyeon could imagine life if he moved on but it wouldn't be good. Taekwoon is his life and it's going to stay that way. There was not going to be another mishap. Hakyeon was not going to lose the man he loved again even if he had to fight for Taekwoon in the future. There was going to be nothing to tear them apart.

Soon enough, Taekwoon returned to a wide awake Hakyeon. The two were watching each other as Taekwoon put his clothes in the dirty clothes basket. Hakyeon moved over to make room for Taekwoon since the two slept together ever since Hakyeon joined them again. Once Taekwoon was settled onto the bed, Hakyeon rolled over to where his head rested on Taekwoon's chest. This was Hakyeon's favorite place to sleep. It was peaceful hearing Taekwoon's heart beat and hearing the young man breathe. This calmed Hakyeon's mind enough to put him to sleep. And so, every night Hakyeon would lay his head on the other man's chest and sleep like that.

"Sleep now, Hakyeon. We worked hard today," Taekwoon told the older man.

"Alright. Good night Leo," Hakyeon replied sleepily. Taekwoon kissed the top of Hakyeon's head and the two fell asleep afterwards.


End file.
